EP 3 | How to Not Crash Out from the Chaos: Mental Entropy Edition

Hola Cueties! This week we are talking about the second episode in the Entropy series: Mental Entropy. When I think of mental entropy, I think of the mental load a lot of us carry. Sometimes the mental load is invisible and heavy and we don't allow ourselves to come up for air and rejuvenate our souls. So let's talk about. We will break down what mental entropy is and what it looks like, and how you can reconnect with yourself and not feel so dragged down with everything. 

I mention Paige who speaks heavily about the mental load on TikTok: @sheisapaigeturner . Go check her out!

Keeping this short and sweet. Bye!

Website: https://cuethenewyou.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/merittrollinsbrown/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@merittrollinsbrown?_t=8hC2ICTEGIY&_r=1

Transcript

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Hey Cueties, and welcome to the Cue the New You podcast. I'm your host Meritt, and this is part two of the entropy series where we have gone over emotional entropy in episode one. And this episode is about mental entropy, and the final episode is all about physical entropy. Before we begin, I want you to just pause for a second. And let's take a deep breath together. So we're gonna inhale and exhale. It means a lot that you showed up today. If your mind is racing or you feel distracted, or your mind feels cluttered or disorganized, you're in the right place. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions with no finish line sight. I have to do this, be there, pick up this, clean this, cook this, make this go to this. It's a never ending cycle, and I've had way too many crash outs when we crash out. Just know that you are not broken or lazy, or a failure. Your brain and body are simply overstimulated and overloaded. Mental entropy means scattered or disorganized thinking that drains your energy. It's basically disorganized energy. You're running around with disorganized energy, mental entropy often follows emotional entropy because it's the cognitive clutter that builds up when your emotional bandwidth is down or low. You've been running on fumes, trying to do all the things, while nothing is getting done, you have too many tabs open in your mind to fully do one thing or to fully focus on one thing. Mental entropy looks like scrolling, especially at night when you are actually tired and your body is craving sleep, yet you sit there and scroll. It's going over a conversation you had four days ago and you're still beating yourself up over what you said or what you didn't say. It's being tired but wired at the same time. Like you, you have trouble falling asleep, but then you have trouble staying awake during the day, like, make that make sense? Please, if you feel like your life is like this, you aren't alone and you aren't a failure. You're trying to do too much and your brain isn't on board. So we need to nail down what is draining your energy, and here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself and just observe what comes up, what's taking up the most space in your brain right now? What are you replaying all the time? And this is a good one. What thought are you tired of thinking all the time? Sometimes within the busyness of life, we don't take time to get rid of things that are weighing us down. It's like your brain has gained five pounds this week because of everything that has been going on, and you think adding more and ignoring things is gonna help you lose that weight when in fact, it's more about the less you do, the faster that weight will come off. Now pause and really feel in your body, in your heart. What is going on for you right now? For you, not for your boss, not for your partner, not for your kids. What is going on with you? What are you struggling with at the moment? Is it because you feel like you can't delegate tasks with your partner? Or maybe you feel like your partner should help you without having to ask you for a to-do list? Do you feel like you are going to be the mother to everyone forever or else nothing will get done? Are you avoiding feeling and emotion because you don't have time to process it, so you throw yourself into more work or more social outings or more alcohol? We aren't judging here. We are humans who have a lot of energy, love, and sometimes we give too much away without. Giving ourselves something in return. The mental load. Some of us carry is quiet, stealth, and so heavy. Even if it looks like someone has their shit together, that just may be a facade. Mental entropy is a system of living in a world that asks too much of your mind and your willingness to give. So how can we help ourselves not carry such a mental load? It's almost like you're spring cleaning your house. You want to spring clean your mind and heart. And what I mean by this is when we spring clean our home, at least for me, I try to tackle one room and I clean it floor to ceiling. I move all the clutter out. I mop the floors, dust to the baseboards, vacuum, wipe down all the things, wash whatever needs to be washed. I change vent filters or actually clean my vacuum before starting the spring cleaning to begin with, I turn on my favorite music or listen to an audio book, and I don't stop until everything is clean and that room is organized and that includes the junk drawer and that guest bedroom that things keep piling up in. We need to do this with our minds as well. We need to clean out the old thoughts, the old habits that aren't serving us anymore. You need to figure out what is holding you back from relinquishing some of that weight you carry. Can you speak to a trusted friend or maybe find a therapist? Can you go on a mini solo trip to relax or can you go. Take a yoga class and try to actually listen to the instructor. I said this in the previous episode that if you're mad at one thing, it's because you're mad at something else. One thing can break the camel's back, and it's because of that slow buildup. You avoid any emotion by sweeping it under the rug, and you let that emotion sit there, you walk over it every day, even though you know you swept it underneath that rug, you'll tell yourself, Hmm, I'll clean that up later. Or I'll clean it up tomorrow on Saturday. I'll clean it. But do you actually follow through with what you say you're going to do? When do you sweep that emotion up? When do you give that rug and floor a good spring? Clean your house doesn't have to be perfectly clean all the time. But having it be at least neat or tidy is a good goal to have, in my opinion. The less clutter or things you have, the less you have to maintain and clean. Your brain doesn't have to think perfectly all the time. Your energy doesn't have to be at a perfect rate all the time. But maintaining a healthy brain and body is a goal. It is a great goal to have here in Spain, the adults at my kids' sporting events. Are so present and it's very weird for me to observe. I actually took a picture of the parents at the, at a rugby practice because there were maybe 45 parents sitting there. None of them were on their phones. Sure. A few of them were talking to each other, but most of them were looking out at the field. Now were they actually like watching, watching? I don't know, but. They weren't distracted with something else like their phone or anything. And like I use my kids' practice time to read research. sometimes I work or run or I just zone out because I have a lot of things going on. Very rarely am I ever fully present watching my kids practice. I'm more into their games, but in a lot of, and I was thinking about this the other day in a lot of interviews with pro athletes, not that my kids are gonna be pro athletes. I mean, they can be if they want, but I don't know if they want that. But anyways, in a lot of interviews, they often thank their parents or the people who raise them for going to all of their games and practices and paying attention to them. So my goal is to be more focused and pay attention to my kids at practice, and to also applaud them for just playing and trying versus criticizing them or letting them know what they can improve on every time, because who, who wants that? You know, the thing that gets me with how I operate? And how the Spaniards operate is the fact that their lifestyle is slowed down enough that they don't have super busy lives or really stressful lives. Now, I'm not saying that about everyone here, but compared to the US I, I notice a difference on Sundays here. Most places are closed, even grocery stores. Because Sundays are the day for the family. You sit down with friends and and family and you hang out and eat, laugh, drink, talk, and connect. People are present. They aren't on their phones or have the TV on maybe unless there's a, an important football match on, but they aren't rushing to leave because they have a million other things to do. Like I hear my neighbors all the time have when they have people over and you can hear forks. Banging on the on the plates and you hear them laughing, you hear them singing. They'll play the piano or they'll play the guitar and you just hear them talking. And it doesn't bother me. Like all of our windows are open most of the time, especially this time of year because it's getting hot and not a lot of us have ac and to me that's beautiful because they're taking the time to connect with each other. But I feel like they aren't rushing to leave, not because they are perfect at maintaining a to-do list or that they always have their shit together. But I think it's because they are connecting with not only others, but with themselves. They take time to be still, to be quiet, to To have a coffee at a cafe, and sit there by themselves for half an hour. They reenergize themselves by relaxing. I think with carrying such a mental load, we put ourselves on the back burner and feel guilty about taking time for ourselves when really that's what we need to be doing. A woman I follow on TikTok, her page is at. She is a Paige Turner. Paige being her name, P-A-I-G-E, but she talks about the mental load and all of her videos that I've seen have really resonated with me. She talks about packing the kids' school lunches, because it's not just about the task at hand that is draining your energy. It's the mental load that comes with it. It's the thoughts. The overthinking, the pressure, the background noise, trying to remember everything for lunch. It's not just about the food you are thinking, which kid likes this type of sandwich? Have they eaten enough fiber or protein today? What are we having for dinner? Do we have enough snacks for today? When was the last time I went to the grocery store? When do I have time to go to the grocery store? Why can't I remember to order groceries online the day before? Because there won't be an option for delivery today. Do they eat the same lunch as yesterday? Do we have ice packs ready? Do we have clean containers for their lunches? I think I forgot to start the dishwasher last night. So what can I use instead? Do any of their classmates have allergies? Which kid again can't take the peanut butter? What should I pack for an after school snack? Did I wash the fruit before I put it in the lunchbox? It's all of it. These are the 48 tabs that are open while you're spending five minutes packing school lunches. It's much easier dealing with this and answering all the questions than trying to delegate to your partner to help you pack because they have no idea what just went through your mind and now you're already feeling flustered, frustrated, and drained because of all the decisions you just made before you dropped your kids off at school or before you went to work. This isn't. Just directed towards mothers. Either. This can be for a woman who is a CEO doctor, lawyer, caregiver, or an entrepreneur who is single because single people can get burned out too. We all have our own lives. I just relate more to mothers because I am one and being married because I've been married for 14 years, but Paige does a great job of giving more examples of the mental load. With like with switching the kids clothes out every season, birthday parties, and it's, and what's crazy to me is how many negative comments she receives people. I mean, to be honest, mostly men. But there are some women that will tell her she's doing too much or expecting too much, or this is part of what being an adult is. But they are simply missing the bigger picture. Mental entropy happens when your thoughts are constantly looping or branching off. They're spinning into decision fatigue. You're distracted all the time. You have unfinished ideas. It's a feeling of walking into a room and forgetting why exactly you walked in there, but then another thought pops into your head and you remember you forgot to schedule that appointment. Or you forgot to text your friend back, then you start doing other tasks and you either completely forget the reason for going into that room in the first place, or it takes you about 10 minutes to remember what it was you were initially going to do. Or you're about to say something. Then totally forget what you're going to say until. A couple of minutes or hours later and then it all of a sudden pops into your head and you're like, and you are like this for too long. I joke around with my friends. If I forgot something, I'd be like, I'll tell you in two weeks when I remember what I was going to say, and then I usually text them and I'm like, oh, remember that thing? I forgot. This is what it was. It's not just stress that weighs you down though. It's the unprocessed emotions. It's the guilt shame loop on repeat. It's the wanting to start a new habit but never sticking to it. You've been holding too many thoughts, decisions, stories, needs, without any release. And what did we say about the rice cooker? The rice cooks the best when you add the appropriate amount of rice and liquid. But once you start adding more ingredients into that cooker. The cooker becomes too crowded and it burns the dish or it overflows because there's too much pressure inside. Don't be an overfilled rice cooker. You need to find ways to lessen your mental health of courses can look differently for people because. Our brains aren't wired the same, and we all have different lifestyles, but I want you to walk away with three things that you can try this week that can help you relieve some of that pressure or weight. So number one journal, and I know I said this last week too, but the key with this kind of journaling, I actually call mine mindset minutes. But I set a timer for one minute and I write down anything and everything, but the key is I don't go back and read it again. I'm simply getting whatever I want to get out of my head and on the paper, and I throw that paper away. It's kind of satisfying feeling because I'm cleaning my mind out if you do this one minute journal exercise consistently for a week. Notice how you feel. The second thing is to try and give your brain a closing signal so for example, I was watching a TED talk about routines, and I remember the speaker, I forgot, I forgot her name, but I remember the speaker. Giving an example of a closure signal saying if you are finished with your workday, crumple up a piece of paper and throw it in the trash can because you're signaling to your brain that you're finished with a day with a dunk. Or you can simply close your laptop after your workday and say out loud, my work here is done. Or after you finish cooking light a candle. Bonus points if you have a candle on your dining room table. But our brains crave clear endings. When you finish something, celebrate or release it. Journal the thoughts and release them. One of my favorite things for closing signal is, and this is actually what made fabric go. From being a bankrupt almost on the verge of bankruptcy was they interviewed people who used Fre, and this one lady said that anytime she finished cleaning a space, she would spray fe breeze. That is a closing symbol. Whenever you finish cleaning, you spray for breeze or perfume in the room because that signifies you're done cleaning. At least for that time. Number three, don't add more input or noise when your brain is feeling full or overwhelmed. So that means no listening to new podcasts or starting a new TV series and try not to multitask. Simply cook dinner first and then do the dishes. Don't try and play catch up at bedtime, especially during the work week. A lot, some time on the weekend or your day off and tackle some things that have piled up. Our brains need breaks just like our bodies need breaks. Give your brain a break by being quiet. If you're like me and you hope that one day you can have everything organized in a way where you don't feel as overwhelmed or overstimulated. But you make a calendar or buy an agenda book with good intentions and you fill them out once, and maybe you start looking at the calendar for a couple of days, but then you walk by it once, twice, twice, and forget you even had a calendar by the end of the week or month. You don't need to organize your entire life. You need to just slow down process and reconnect with yourself and maybe today. That's just writing your thoughts down for the mindset minutes. Maybe it's going on a walk with no headphones. Maybe it's watching a sad movie so you can finally feel something and cry, and that is simply enough for today. Because you are already enough. We just want to calm the chaos before it makes us crash out. So if this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear. What is one mental tab you are closing this week? And as always, my dms are open over on Instagram at Merrit Rollins Brown, or feel free to share this podcast episode in your stories and tag me. If you know someone who is mentally maxed out at the moment, feel free to share this episode with them. But we just have to be aware of our mental load and what we are hearing. All right. To finish out this series on entropy next week, we are going to tackle physical entropy and discuss habits, and I'm so excited about that. But thank you for being here today. You are doing better than you think. All right, I'll see y'all next week. Bye.